As we are writing this post, we are positioned between peculiar feelings of deja vu and apprehension.
We were not planning on doing surrogacy again since it is so expensive until, what we thought was a stars-aligning, prayer answering miracle. Kanga was going to be a compassionate surrogate and, because of some interesting quirks with insurance, the transfer would be covered! If you have read our blog, then you would know the next chapter in this saga already. If not, in brief, the surrogacy fell through and we are left with 3 beautiful, fully tested and prepared blastocysts with no surrogate to provide them a chance at life. Candace and I have vacillated about what to do and have come to this conclusion, we MUST provide those embryos a chance to be.
So, here is where we are. Our one alternative is to donate them to another infertile couple but IF we can find another surrogate, we are all in… With that though, the number one barrier for couples who have broken plumbing (cough us) and who want to build a family is cost. We kinda maxed out our credit card and have several thousand dollars that we owe to our RE (post coming soon about the white envelope that plagues a whole lot of us out there in infertility land). Many of you have asked “where are you now that the dust has settled?” Honestly, we don’t know. We don’t have a surrogate lined up right now. We have no idea how/when/who about that.
So many of you have been asking us, “how can we help you? Why don’t you fire up the ol’ fundraising oven again and make this happen!” Climbing what felt like Mount Impossible for Jellybean, we were told that we were being “tacky” that “if we can’t afford to have the child, maybe we shouldn’t.” Looking at Jellybean now though, we sure are happy we hit the ignore button with those meaningless comments.
Zero regrets given.
We said we would not try to fund raise again. We already had an overwhelming outpouring of support that resulted in us bringing home our Jellybean, and well there sure are a whole lot of folks out there who are counting every penny and borrowing a few more, to get to their own Jellybean.
Don’t worry, I don’t see full scale fundraisers in the foreseeable future but for those who have been asking, here’s what you can do to support us. First, the most important thing you could do for us is the most simple, pray. It is free and more impactful than anything else you could do. For those, folks who want to take an extra step here’s how. Since the holiday season is officially upon us and it is safe to say we’ll all be tossing a few extra items in our Amazon cart. When you go to Amazon to buy all your Christmas gifts (cause you know you will), use this link to get to Amazon. By doing this, we will get a very small percentage of the sales you spend. The more the volume through this link, the higher the percentage we get. This is a pain free way that you can support us and it costs nothing to you and we can get closer to digging out of our failed surrogacy and diving into unraveling the next chapter to next steps of a second surrogacy.
Will there be regrets if we don’t try to put up a fight our embryos we have currently on ice? Yes. So I guess we are back in the fray. Back to figuring out the how and the to’s of making it a reality. We have been overwhelmed with kindness and support of Candace and I, as we try to take those bricks to re-build what perseverance we can muster after our second surrogacy fell through. It was a pretty hard fall to recover from. Candace still is licking those wounds and trying to figure how to trust again. For me, I am picking her up and saying “come on Candace, we can do this.”
So here is our answer to all of you who have wanting to help: pray for us, or for my awesome friends of other beliefs, keep sending that good juju you’ve been sending. The Amazon link is just another way you can support us!
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