Insanity- To do the same thing multiple times and expect a different outcome
14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 minutes. In the fertility world it is known as the “2WW”. For those unfamiliar with this ominous event that occurs in every couples infertility routine ah, every month. It is the time between either ovulation and when that horrible Aunt Flo pays her unwelcomed visit OR it is the time between when you had your last life savings clearing procedure and you take a blood test. That one single result will determine whether you will be shut off from the world crying in a ball for the next few days/weeks or if you have finally beat infertility and now you will gladly, no complaints elated even, enjoy all the symptoms that come with pregnancy. Hands down this is the hardest, most mind racking, insanity building time. Allow me to let you into the minds of someone going through this:
Acronym Alert! POAS- Pee On A Stick, otherwise known as a home pregnancy test
Day 0- I am crampy… I must be pregnant! Eat pineapple and follow any other weird juju you read about on the internet.
Day 1- I had a headache- Google early pregnancy symptoms.
Day 3- Is it too early to take a pregnancy test? Google it. Decide to show restraint. Great job me!
Day 4- Break down and POAS. My resolve didn’t last long.
Day 5- POAS, It has to work this time! Google early pregnancy symptoms again.
Day 6- My friend’s sister’s aunt tested positive once on day 6, POAS again.
Day 7- Out of pregnancy tests. Go back to the store and load up. Buy 3 boxes ($45.00) no worries I have a coupon from the last 2 unfriendly test boxes I just blew through.
Day 8- POAS PANIC! I start upping the anti, POAS 2 times a day hoping for a different outcome other than the one single line I always see.
Day 9- I bet it works this time, POAS 2 more times, throw a pity party, cry some, POAS one more time, just in case.
Day 10- Back on Google looking for stories of late result pregnancy tests, POAS, and cry at at one line staring back at me.
Day 11- SPAZ out when trying to open the Fort Knox POAS package, miss the stick completely, I hit my hand though … a lot. Wash hands, drink tons of water, then finally POAS. Cry more after seeing a negative.
Day 12- Buy more pregnancy tests.. You now resort to other brands because the brand you had been using is clearly broken and does not work. Why do they even sell pregnancy tests that tell you what you don’t want to hear?
Day 13- Disaster, convince yourself everything has failed, it will never happen for you. POAS, maybe you see a faint, faint, faint microscopic maybe line only in specific lighting . POAS two more times.
Day 14- Blood test “Beta” day…
Infertility is such a bitch! 🙁
Ugh…Candace, I’m so sorry. Wish there was something we could say to ease the incredible disappointment and pain you must be feeling. Ryan and I are thinking of you guys. Whatever you need…we are here.
Ugh…Candace, I’m so sorry. Wish there was something we could say to ease the incredible disappointment and pain you must be feeling. Ryan and I are thinking of you guys. Whatever you need…we are here.
Oh Guys…Ive ‘heard’ you arent out until the beta…so Im going to naively hold on to hope…thinking of you both.
XOXO
Lynn