Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost
You know, Robert Frost was a smart dude or just straight plain lucky. Either way, Chris and I have always been a great fan of his. Our life seems to always be intertwined in cross roads. Come to find out big decisions are maddening. It is much like the game of roulette. The dealer drops the marble, the wheel spins, and you bet based on your gut instinct. Maybe you play your lucky number, maybe you change your mind last second and play your wedding anniversary. At the end of the day, you bet with your intuition and hope that it will be enough to leave you on top. Well this is kinda one of those moments in our baby journey. We are at a spot where the road forks, down one path lays the choice to adopt, down the other our chance at surrogacy. And just like Robert Frost said, both paths appear to have been traveled about the same.
After our last failed IVF, we plunged into adoption. We were elated to have adoption as a way to start our family. We threw ourselves into the process with gusto … more reckless abandon if you ask me, but you get the gist. So we dove in and read books and talked to many couples who have adopted or are going through the process. Chris and I even took some extra classes so we could learn to be great parents, but also, admittedly, so we could get those brown-noser home study points. Then we got our curveball. We were running full sprint in one direction and another door flew wide open and knocked us on the ground, dazed and confused. I mean it is not every day someone says, “Hey, you with the Eff’d up uterus. Here, use mine for 9 months.” More so, do any of you recall that after my last and final transfer, we had 2 blasts remaining? Were these signs? So, we were torn as to what to do, and as this may surprise you, Chris and I were NOT on the same page with this one. We prayed on it, researched it, and we talked to all of our family and friends. We asked them, “What would you do?”
Did I ever mention that my mom was adopted? I knew that she would tell us what we should do and it would be from the heart, without judgment, and would be in our best interest. Her thoughts were, “Candace, you can always adopt. You will want a sibling and that option will be available for you. You will not always have a surrogate, 2 frozen embryos, and impeccable timing.” That made sense to us. So we hit PAUSE, not STOP on our adoption pursuit and we are now happy to say we have a potential surro-baby mama, whom we adore by the way. With our signed contract in hand (more on that in the future) we eagerly, yet cautiously await to do the transfer in the fall. Sheesh, our life is like an infertility-based soap opera. “The Bold and the Hormonal” or maybe “General Hostile Uterus” I kinda like “All my Embryos.”
If you like our blog, please follow us! You can subscribe to our blog via email and can receive our posts hot off the press! You want more of our antics you say? Well, we are on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest too.
I am so excited and pumped for you. Your blog is saved on the home screen of my phone and I am always up to date with your happenings. Thanks for being an amazing voice for all of us going through infertility. @meli989
@meli989-You made my day this am when I saw this comment! We are pumped you are following our journey, even if it is like a low-budget soap opera. Ever see an all Spanish soap operas? They are actually pretty entertaining. Chris and I will voice overs for what we think is being said just to mix it up a bit. Off track I know.. sorry about that. As for the voice, we just speak from our experiences and woes. We dont know how long we will be on this train but we do know we will finally get off at Babies R Us eventually, as will you!
Awesome Congrats!!… Now, I just want to know what kind of clever t-shirt you are gonna come up with for surrogacy??!?!?!
Brian- You know, that is a damn good question. We are up for suggestions better yet, a surro-shirt brain storming gathering. Can we invite ourselves over for ribs? LOL I kid I kid.. kinda.
Hey that is wonderful news! Oh and I like “all my embryos” best.
Rebecca- I had to stop at 3 but man, I forgot how many soap operas there were! Chris liked General Hostile Uterus.. not sure if he is still having hostile flash backs from my “injection days” but when he talks about it, his left eye twitches a little.
Oh you guys, I wish you nothing but the best of luck, always. Your video was amazing, by the way. Earnie and I watched it several times and although small compared to what you probably need, donated to your cause. I would love nothing more than to see you guys become parents.
xo
Melanie from your IVF group
IM OUT OF MY MIND FOR YOU GUYS!!! I think this is such an amazing ‘side road’ youre exploring on your journey to parenthood. I totally agree with your mom and while Im am sure this decision was not an easy one to come to, I hope you feel confident that for NOW this is the right path for you guys. Did I already say Im OUT OF MY MIND FOR YOU GUYS???
Things are going ok for me here. We Had 2 back to back Dr appts with specialists…got ‘good’ news about moving forward with our family plans…now we just have to figure out if were brave/stupid/foolish/strong enough to try again.
XOXO
Lynn
Lynn, it is great to hear that you and your DH are still marching towards our common goal of having a family. That is fantastic that you got good news! Don’t worry about whether you are brave/stupid/foolish/strong enough, of course you are! We will be praying for you all to continue receiving good news.
that is so exciting great things happen when least expected!!!!
Trish philly, it is definitely true that it was least expected. We had discussed surrogacy a long time ago and quickly dismissed it as a completely undoable option. Not only that, but we also-admittedly rather pessimistically-never even considered that someone would come forward to offer to be a surrogate for us with a ‘friends and family’ discount to make it a realizable option. We are learning to call all available funds surro-bucks and are hopeful that the transfer will be successful. Whether it is or not, we will make sure to update everyone through our blog.
Just found your blog, and I love it. My husband and I are in a similar situation right now – do we try another FET, start adoption process, or find a surrogate. The decision making process is enough to drive someone crazy!! Best of luck to you guys on your chosen path!!
sullivan139.blogspot.com