Candace:
The hardest part I have found so far in all of this is the fact I am standing on the sidelines here. It was always a mapped out routine for us. Every transfer prior, I knew I would need to call up “Bill” from my friendly fertility pharmacy tell him to send me the usual, add in a few extra fun items that I coaxed my RE into trying and in record timing my party-in-a-box arrives. This time it is different, that box of meds is not for me. Well, in a sense it is but not directly. It is for her. She is now responsible for taking all of the medications I would have had to with a FET (frozen embryo transfer). Estradiol, Vivelle patches, Progesterone shots, Doxycycline and the cacophony of vitamins I have asked her to take. This here folks is where it all starts. The actual process will begin as soon as CD1 strikes the calendar. Let’s address the point that now we are obsessed with her menstrual cycle. Remember in the Lights, Camera, Broken Uterus post where the film crew and Chris were sweating me non-stop to start my cycle. Oh how the tides have turned my friends.
When I was, WAS… hmmm that sounds so strange doesn’t it? When I was going through fertility treatments, I could force myself to take that painful injection because it was MY desire to have a child. You can push yourself to extreme limits if you have the baby desire, that motherly drive behind you. Here is this amazing person (our wonder surro) and she is offering to take these medications to help give us a family. Yes, she has the drive of wanting to help us and a financial tie but trust me if you have ever been on hormones or had a pio shot they are no walk in the park. This is not something you can just sign up for and not have a true altruistic reason behind it. Anyone who takes fertility medications will become a hormonally induced psychotic, and your ass hurts. Not a good combination. She is doing this for us to have a family. HER own family has to sacrifice when she is on medications. It disrupts your home life and schedule. Did I mention you become hormonally psychotic and your ass hurts? Thank you Wonder-Surro Family.
So here is where we are: Contract done. Meds arrived. Now we wait for CD 1 to begin (which will be a few weeks according to my stalking, excel spread sheets, abacus, star chart, and pie charts I have created). So while we wait, it is time to put together a Surro-Survival Kit! Now no GS (Gestational Carrier) of mine will be going through a transfer without all of the absolute must haves she will need to get through it. I also want to make this as easy as possible on her.
Enter in, Surro-Survival Kit
Printable Transfer Calendar- I made a blank calendar and plugged in her medication schedule, appointment dates and all contact information she would need while going through the process. I popped over to Office Max and had the calendar laminated so she could mark off or add changes throughout her cycle. Click here for FREE printable!
Hanging Closet Organizer- I had this donated to me by a dear friend to help us sell during our fundraising escapades. I kept it for something different, which is a super-snazzy medication organizer. It was perfect because this one has a spot for her calendar and several deep pockets for a small sharps container, and needles. Other items included were:
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Hand Sanitizer
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Alcohol pads and cotton balls
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Fun-silly-ridiculous Band-Aids (a must, the goofier the better)
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All medications and paperwork for the medications
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Neutrogena Sesame Oil (This is instrumental in getting the pesky residue of the Vivel patches off)
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Syringes
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EMLA cream
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Dry-erase pen
This was a Thirty-One organizer so if you are looking for one you can get one here.
I was not done at just the organizer. I went to the Dollar Store and got a huge bin and added a few other “musts” for when she starts her medications. Chris’s contribution was for her husband. He slid into the basket a bottle of his favorite fertility themed beer from Smuttynose Brewery, Humoculus and a gift card to a steakhouse. I guess he figured beer and steak is win win with any man. Chris wanted to make sure that her husband was not left out since he will be the one giving her shots and supporting her throughout the process.
The rest of the basket was all things to help her get through the next few weeks. A little something for her kids. Silly socks because let’s just face it, when you are on the stirrup throne you dare not go barefoot. There have been many-a-feet that have worn those foot protectors bare. Plus not sure about you but I am always paranoid that my feet may be stinky that day. Could be you wore the wrong shoes that cooked your feet a little too long, either way I don’t want to be known by my RE as stinky foot girl, nor do I want my wonder surro to be in that predicament either. SOCKS. Important… moving on class. Other random items included: chocolate, a massage for the day before the transfer so she can be in a ZEN like state and last but not least a DVD copy of “Baby Mama”.
We want to make sure our wonder surro is equipped with everything she needs and to help make it as easy as possible for her. She is (hopefully, possibly, fingers-crossed) giving up the next 9 months of her life to provide swanky, posh room for rent for our little embryo(s?).
Chris:
Turning over the reins is a tough thing to do. Guys don’t like doing this. Right? Or am I just that chauvinistic? For example, when we go on a road trip, I want to drive. It isn’t that I enjoy the leg cramps or dry eyes. I just like knowing where we are, how our progress is coming along, and when we will be at the next landmark. Even if I wasn’t driving, I would still want to know these things so I might as well drive so I can keep track of these things and feel like I am contributing. This prepping for our surro kind of feels like I am sitting not just in the passenger seat, but in the third row of a full size van with the music turned way up! Not only will I not be experiencing all of these things physically, but now I won’t even be administering the medications and be able to support the person who is voluntarily going through all of this like I did with all of our IVF procedures before.
This seems to be the point where that trust has to come in. We not only have to trust that our RE will be doing everything to make our Surro’s embryo home as habitable as possible (lots on the line here with these being our last two blastocysts and Candace possibly getting a hysterectomy), but we also have to trust our surro to take all of the medications. I also have to trust our surro’s husband that he will be able and available to give our surro all of her meds. After all, you have to schedule to be free during that time every day. And that sucks. Ruins dinner plans, complicates errand running, and definitely impacts your armchair quarterback schedule. But, I do know this, after having met our surro’s husband, I am confident that he will be able to deliver above and beyond on anything that is asked of them and him. And for me, that is a huge relief. I think maybe this time, I can get comfortable in that passenger’s seat and let our surro husband take the wheel on the shot giving. Just wake me up before we get to Albuquerque. (Bugs Bunny anyone)
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kit survival
Thank you for your comment David. As we are turning control of our last embryos’ well being to another couple, it is hitting us hard that we won’t be able to dictate everything that will happen. By doing things like making the surro survival kit we are hoping to be able to show them how appreciative we are of the sacrifice they are making.