Our Misconception- A blog on Infertility, Surrogacy and beyond

Misadventures through marriage surrogacy and parenting after infertility

Sex Party!

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Now before I elaborate this post comes with a warning.

***GENDER REVEAL*** For those deep in the fertility trenches, please know that not all of our posts will be smothered in goo-goo-gaga baby-ness. This is an infertility blog. All too well, I understand those emotional darts that sting when you see those posts on Facebook.  I have opened many shower invites only to have that one letter set the stage for an empty bottle of wine accompanied with an empty box of tissues. These are reminders of a mountain peak that seems insurmountable. I also feel (still do) guilty when I have trouble feeling the full joy for others whose path to parenthood is so easy. {shaking fist} Effing Duggar family. If you choose to stop reading this post from here it is ok not to walk through that door today. I call it self-preservation. You can pick up our story and other bits of the IF stroller-coaster next week.


I laid in bed the night before stir crazy. After a few moments in the dark in silence I pulled the classic “Chris are you awake?”  He responded with a snarky, “I am now.” I just couldn’t sleep. I wanted to talk about the excitement in store for us the next day. I also wanted to try to sleep as soon as possible because I knew that morning would come and we would find out if we would be buying baseball gloves or ballerina shoes. These are the moments we waited and prayed for what seemed to be an eternity and I was hours from finding out. If you bottled the built up anticipation of every Christmas Eve of your existence together that is what it felt like.

Now, there are 3 people and the technician in the ultrasound room. At first, we wanted to have the ultrasound tech write down what our jellybean was and we would be surprised with everyone. After speaking with our surrogate we realized it would be logistically challenging to pull that off. So we made all parties swear to secrecy. I mean it was only 2 days that we would have to wait before we broke the news. Surrogacy is different and challenging in the fact that you still want to do everything that you would have done if you could carry your baby. The reality of it is you have other factors. There are multiple parties involved. A gender reveal was no-exception. We would still celebrate and surprise our family and inner circle the same way as if well, we had had a normal pregnancy for lack of a better term.

 Create a suggestive yet, awkwardly enticing invite. CHECK


 Make cupcakes. Sorry folks you have to read on to see what color we covertly put in the middle.


 Decorate.  We are on a budget (gotta save those “surro-bucks”) so I made the majority of the decorations. Chris even made the chalkboard for under 8.00! He had extra molding, all we needed was chalkboard paint and wood.

I used inexpensive card stock to make girl/boy signs, confetti and food labels and then cheap streamers to add some flare to the table!

This is where I felt conflicted. I was decorating in baby motif. I felt seemingly out of place and guilty. Weird right? I guess it was so incredibly foreign to me that it seems like at any point  I will wake up from this dream. The emotional scar I bear is deep but I also don’t want to remove it. It is a reminder of where we have been and how to appreciate the future.



















We chose to do a brunch. Pink Mimosas, Blue Moon beer, Chicken and mini waffles, and a few other tasty bites! Check out my Pinterest “NOM NOM” board for these recipes. 

Gather our village and make them guess. Then make them wait a bit, just to raise the suspense a little.  Sneaky C & C style.  You will notice there was a fair amount of  boy guess’s. 



Surprise them with this…



That’s right He as we all thought, is going to be a SHE!!  From now it, it will be little Ms. Jelly Bean!



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Comments

  1. This brought tears to my eyes. I am so so so excited for you guys…. I could not think of a more deserving couple. Congratulations on your baby girl!!!! So amazing.

  2. Yay a princess ! I had tears in my eyes reading this . Congrats you deserve this and so much more happiness now you have and see the light at the end of the tunnel .

  6. Why does every single one of your posts touch my heart and make me cry? I love the joy you guys are experiencing, and am over-the-moon excited for you!! xoxo

  7. Yeah a little girlfriend for our little girl to play with when we have our play dates for surrokids!

  8. As a fellow infertile sista, your blog has been uplifting. I have just started this journey, actively TTC for 2 years and am on my 3rd round of Clomid (gag). I am glad to know that If this doesn’t work, I have options. Maybe not traditional, but hey, I’m not traditional. Your blog is amazing and when I saw your announcement video, I wept. Congrats on your baby girl! Can’t wait to see her!

  11. Congrats to you both! I actually saw your True Life episode on MTV. I was curious how that surro went so I googled and found your blog ! Crazy how that works 🙂

    Looking forward to reading the rest of your story !

    Congrats again!

  12. Congratulations! I also just discovered your blog via google after watching your mtv episode. You two are going to have a remarkable family! Blessings upon you and continue to be courageous!

  14. I am watching your True Life episode on MTV for the second time. I cried along with you both times and could not imagine controlling myself enough to not stalk for an update. So glad I found you and even happier to read the news of your beautiful baby girl on the way. Absolutely made my day! Love to you both <3

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