Anyone that has been around us or following our blog knows that I do not do New Year’s Resolutions. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for momentous decisions to make life change, just not those that are centered on an arbitrary event. I am all for a Wednesday (December 31) or Thursday (January 1) resolution. (Oh no, Chris got into the countdown champagne way too early!) No, sadly, not yet. What I mean is that if you want to make a change in your life, why give yourself the cop-out/delay/responsibility/anxiety about it? If you decide on Dec. 1 that you are going to eat better/lose weight/spend less/exercise more/whatever starting January 1, what do you do for the next 30 days? Maintain the status quo and feel bad about how different you plan to be? Do you overdo it at Cheesecake Factory because “Well, one week from now I won’t be able to eat my weight in sweet cheesy-cakey goodness.” Seems kinda dumb. We all need motivation, I get that. But why put an extra burden on yourself of having this be a NEW YEARS RESOLUTION? Why not have it be: “I’m Sheila and today is Dec 4th and I am going to start looking into adoption even though I have no clue how I am going to afford it.” That way, it is a Dec 4th resolution, a personal decision, something that you can use for motivation because it did not require a ball drop, a crowded metropolitan square, a wicked hangover to be acted on. All it required was fictitious Sheila to decide that today was the day.
I don’t know what 2014 held for you, but for myself, it was filled with blessings as well as things that could be done better and things I will be left wanting when the calendar runs out. I could make a laundry list of things that I would like to do better in 2015 and proclaim from a mountain that I would act on them starting Jan. 1, but it would be a bit hollow on my part. Well, without the seemingly guaranteed backing of a New Year’s Resolution, what can be done about making big decisions and life changes? Strive to make positive life changes as soon as you are aware, capable, and committed to do so. Similar to a drunkard boasting about their amazing New Year’s Resolution plans at 11:55 PM on Dec. 31st, the best way to have it be a success is to tell others so that you have some accountability. I am a super self-motivated person, but having to answer to Candace regarding why I ate an entire batch of brownies has kept me from the brink of a plunge into sweet-toothed insanity on several occasions. Also, break up that seemingly unsurmountable goal into smaller, easier to achieve steps. If your goal is to raise $15-$20 K to have an IVF, set up $1000 or $2000 increments with corresponding rewards. Finally, give yourself some reprieve. If your resolution is to stop drinking coffee because it can improve infertility and you have been drinking 3 pots of coffee a day, don’t beat yourself up if you are walking by your favorite coffee shop and fall victim to the allure of the java’s nectar wafting out to you. Recognize that you missed the mark with that 12 oz (okay 20 oz) of caffeinated bliss and plan to redouble the effort the next day.
Okay fine, make a New Year’s Resolution, don’t make one. In the end, it is not about when you decide to make a change but whether you are successful or not. We hope that 2015 will be filled with joy, positive pregnancy results, and phone calls about adoptions being finalized for all of our IFers out there. Have a great New Year!
