Our second story about the immediate hardship, surprising strength, and grace felt from a child taken too soon comes from our close friends Pat and Holly (we call them P&H). They are a strong couple, high school sweethearts actually, that somehow survived the maturity into adulthood and became closer. Exemplary may not be too far off the mark: they like to travel, are awesome to hang out with, enjoy family events, have a close-knit group of friends, and a cute, spoiled fur baby to boot. A while ago, P&H decided to start a family. Why not? They both had stable, productive jobs and a great house in a fantastic community. They had a broad family and friends support structure. Most importantly, they had a close connection with each other. With all these things, if there was any place that a baby would fit better, we don’t know it. A child for them will be like the final brush strokes on a Rembrandt or Picasso masterpiece, in our opinion.
Guess what … after a few months of trying, it worked! they were pregnant. They had some challenges along the way, but everything was progressing. Even during their pregnancy, with stresses about the health of their developing child increasingly weighing on them, they were very supportive to us and everything we were going through. With just a glimpse of how great these friends of ours are, here is their story.
Pat and Holly
First of all, I would like to thank Candace and Chris for allowing me to share Riley’s story. When they asked if I would like to share her story, I was like, “how can I not share the story of the one person I have loved more than anything?” By sharing her story, it validates that even though she was stillborn at 34 weeks, she was a person, growing inside of me, loved her entire life.
I believe that first of all, our faith in God allowed us to make it through this and see the good that has come out of such a terrible situation. Second, such a supportive family has given us strength and supported our decisions that we have made. For me, the most supportive has been my husband, Pat. He is my rock through all of this. Third, an amazing support system of friends and neighbors, who not only sent flowers and let us know they cared, but came by, let us talk about Riley, looked at pictures of her, and took care of us.
Riley taught us so many things in her short life inside of me. She taught us that God has a plan for all of us, and we must put all of our trust in Him. She taught Pat and I the importance of staying strong and being there for each other. Riley also showed us how important having our family close really is. Riley taught us that the material things in life are not important. It is amazing how much this little angel has changed our lives.
My advice for everyone, whether you have experienced a loss or not, is to enjoy the time you have with those close to you. Riley taught us to cherish each moment. You never know what is going to happen. We had our lives changed in a matter of seconds. Gone from being expectant parents to grieving parents in a matter of seconds after not seeing a heartbeat on the ultrasound.
For us, those 10 hours we spent with her after she was delivered, were the most precious moments of our lives. I remember how soft she was, how long her fingers were, how big her feet were, and how red her lips were. I never got to see what color her eyes were, but I always say they were blue like mine. I remember her head full of dark hair and how much she looks like her daddy.
I would not say that we have overcome our loss, nor have we even come close. It has only been 2 1/2 weeks., We have good days and bad days, but lately more good than bad. There is no right or wrong way to make it through something like this. By placing our faith in God though, we have come a long way in a short time. There is no way that we would have made it through this without His love.
We call Riley our angel baby. She will live in our hearts forever, until we see her again.
