We found ourselves scratching our heads thinking, “Well, now what?” For years we have been on the receiving end of the sharp tip of a needle and once we had closed that tearful novel on our fertility pursuits our full-out efforts had been steadfast towards our adoption process. As you can imagine, when we were presented with the curveball, lifetime opportunity to give surrogacy a shot it was something that we had previously, guilelessly thought was for the most part out of our reach. I mean, only super stars, trust fund kids and those lucky enough to have a fertile caring acquaintance can afford to do surrogacy right? We are definitely not rich super stars, our parents are holding out on us if we are trust fund kids, and up to that point, we didn’t have anyone willing to have cankles and stretch marks for the next 9 months. So we thought … that is when our life took a dramatic turn, we had someone willing to carry for us. Funny how life works sometimes, we had been given an amazing gift but given to us with no instruction pamphlet. All the countless hours were dedicated to research on cutting edge treatments and adoption and all the while, surrogacy would be a possible solution to fill the vacancy sign in our spare bedroom.
We touched on the different types of surrogacy in our Surrogacy 101 post. For more clarification, some couples go through an agency from start to finish. Surrogacy agencies match the surrogate mother (or gestational carrier depending on the circumstances) with a couple, screen all parties, align all necessary services in some cases, and virtually hold the intended parents hands throughout the entire gestation period. Others find their own surrogate/gestational carrier (A G.C. is not related to the baby and is impregnated via In Vitro Fertilization, IVF) which is our case. Recap- our frosties, her cooker. The intended parents, i.e., Chris and I, do the leg work and present the gestational carrier to their clinic. Sounds easy right? NOPE, there is a lot to it. I found myself scouring the web, talking to other intended parents. Reading, reading, reading. You know what I found? Not much is out there. Don’t get me wrong, there IS information out there, but not what I was looking for. I needed a checklist, charts and specific “here is what you need to do” kinda resources. This is what we put together to help us stay on track.
We have only begun to brush the surface on these topics. Throughout our process, we will sprinkle in a few posts touching more in-depth on expectations, questions to ask/maybe some stuff not to ask, contract design, and plenty more as we navigate these uncharted waters. If there is one thing Chris and I are go at it is throwing ourselves at something with reckless abandon. Not sure if that is the best and most tactful approach when it comes to surrogacy, but press on we will.
For those in the surro-stages, click HERE for a free printable check list!
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Hey, I notice your checklist includes STD testing for IPs. Why? If you are using frosties they just need the paperwork from the original IVF.
Fox- That is a fantastic question. We thought and bantered back and forth with our RE about this exact statement. The round about answer we got was as follows: 1. They typically only transfer fresh for surrogate transfers. 2. It is an FDA regulation that whenever bio-matter is being transferred into another human there are strict guidelines to meet. This also may vary from state to state, but most clinics will require strict STD testing of all parties. (Mind you we have now had 2 full STD panels done, so glad to report we are both clear again LOL).