Our second guest post of the series is from Kimberly. Her story heartbreaking and really hits home that you should always trust your instincts. The doctors do not know your body like you do, and unfortunately some can lack empathy especially during times of distress and loss. With that, I will turn it over to Kimberly.
I found out I was pregnant three months after I got married. I thought it would take a while to get pregnant due to my irregular periods and that we hadn’t been preventing before marriage, so we bought an ovulation kit to track my cycles. The ovulation kit contained a pregnancy test so I took it the next morning just to see. It was positive!! I got it confirmed at the Dr’s office a few hours later and called ob. The first ultrasound suggests that I was around 5 weeks, I try to determine myself by examining the picture all the time. I was never able to hear the heartbeat, but I think I may have the second time I went for an ultrasound if I hadn’t asked them to turn the sound off because my husband wasn’t with me. I felt like something was wrong and I was having some discharge. The heartbeat looked nice and strong and they said everything looked good, I don’t remember getting my blood drawn. The next week I noticed red blood after inserting my progesterone pill and went to the ER. The Dr only did a pelvic exam and said I could be miscarrying and to follow up with my OB. I already had an appointment scheduled that day, so I got it moved up.
I knew as soon as the wand went in that my baby was gone, the bottom screen was so still. I just kept staring at it, waiting for lines to start moving but they never did. We were ushered to a room in the back and told to wait for the Dr. She seemed apologetic and caring, but I was so numb that I don’t think I felt anything. I was terrified in a way, my body killed my baby and it was stuck in me. I had a D&E the next day, November 2, 2011, and kinda blocked it from my memory until my infertility struggles started.
I didn’t get pregnant again for another year, 14 months to be exact. My OB checked my HCG after I said I was late but getting negative home tests. Her nurse called with the results. She said my levels were too low and they don’t consider it a viable pregnancy. She told me I would miscarry in the next week and to call if I didn’t start bleeding by then. I went to a local OB and had them checked every 48 hours for a few days and reported to my original OB. I spoke to my actual Dr this time and informed her that my HCG was rising, but that I was also spotting. She said, “it doesn’t matter, you’re still going to miscarry”.
I was dismissed as her patient and the local OB didn’t see a problem so he didn’t want to check them for another week. I could feel that something was wrong and I wanted answers. After calling a few places I found a fertility specialist that said I could come to their office right then, two hours away.
We talked for a little bit, had some blood drawn, and was started on progesterone injections and baby aspirin. The spotting stopped and I started feeling some symptoms, which were found to be from the progesterone. My HCG was checked every 48 hours until it was over 1500 and we could have an ultrasound, which took about two weeks. The screen was turned a little, but I could still see that my uterus was empty, not even a sac. I couldn’t tell, but the nurse said she saw it in the right tube, I just knew it would be. I had been researching ectopic pregnancies the entire two hour drive to get the ultrasound, my HCG was just too low and my body had yet again killed my baby.
The Dr very sternly said I couldn’t have the baby, drew my blood, gave me a methotrexate injection, and orders to get my blood drawn again in a week. My HCG had gone down, but not by much. The nurse said they’d check it again after the New Year, it was Dec. 19. I knew they hadn’t check my levels enough or properly monitor me, but there wasn’t much I could do. Everything was going good and I didn’t think much about it until Christmas afternoon when I got a very intense pain in my stomach.
I was in terrible pain unless I was sitting on the toilet pushing like I needed to go, which also hurt but not as much. After about 30 minutes I decided to go to the ER. I told the nurse what I thought the problem was and they got me back pretty quick. An abdominal and vaginal ultrasound showed a large amount of fluid, which prompted the on call OB to do surgery. After waiting four hours for the nurses to get on the same page and get all the surgery staff available, I was cut across the belly like a C-section would be, given 2 units of blood, 2 day hospital stay, and lost my right tube.
After several timed attempts, IUI’s, and 4 failed IVF with basically no options left, I still have empty arms waiting for my miracle.
Wow, Kimberly, thank you so much for putting your story out there. Like Candace wrote in her intro, it is SO important to trust your instincts. I’m so sorry that you had to go through all this loss.