Last year Suzie was the first to step up and bravely tell her story, (check out last year’s post here) so it makes sense to let her open the door to our loss series. For many couples getting pregnant is easy. People have babies every day, some are even dumb enough to give you the smug comment that their dear husband only has to look at them and BAM they have a bun in the oven. Not sure about you guys, but I mentally slap them HARD while they tell me this. Look at the damn Duggars. Man, they make me angry. I digress. For others like Chris and I, and the many of you reading right now, infertility has consumed your bedroom like a thick black cloud only to make carrying your child to birth a whole other challenge once you finally overcome your infertile challenges. Read on to hear how Suzie has had her world rocked by loss only to find out she too, has to fight the battle of infertility. She is not alone in this either. We must open conversations on the topic of infertility after loss and the effect of secondary infertility.
I will now pass this over to Suzie:
Last year, I shared with you the experience of losing my son. Connor was stillborn at approximately 30 weeks. I shared details of the pregnancy, finding out he was gone, and about my stay in the hospital the week he was born.
About four or so months after losing Connor, my husband and I decided that we were ready to try for a baby. This was a very emotional and trying decision. We weren’t sure when or if we would ever be 100% ready to face a pregnancy again. I knew I would be a nervous wreck no matter how long we waited.
I expected the RE to discuss a lot of things with us during our consultation. I didn’t expect to walk in to him assessing Connor’s autopsy. It makes complete sense looking back. Why wouldn’t he want to learn all he could about my past pregnancy, before helping us with a future one?
The next month or so of genetic specialist appointments and blood tests were very emotionally challenging. The tests came back positive. There were no signs of anything genetic being the cause.
We got to move forward. However, I feel like we have stood still. Months after that first emotional appointment, we are still waiting for that positive test. There have been a lot of prescriptions, appointments, and disappointment. We have been told time and time again that nothing is wrong and it will happen.
However, above all, I am okay.
and Connor’s Story:
Thank you for sharing your story. We lost our daughter at 26 weeks after being told we would never have a child that was genetically mine due to egg issues. The loss was twofold – our daughter, and the dream of having a child that was genetically ours. It was crippling in both ways. Thank you for sharing your story so I (and others) don’t have to feel so alone. I’m hoping for good news for you soon.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. Wishing for a healthy pregnancy and safe delivery for you soon.