My Friend, the Foster Parent

The path to parenthood can be a different one for everyone. It is personal, it is lonely and it is complicated.  IVF, IUIs or a few crazy inducing pills are not the fix all method either. Sometimes the money well runs dry or treatment is not treatable. What I am saying here is, there is not just one resolution to infertility. {Record scratches} What???

You also can’t go to a cabbage patch and pick out the beautiful babe with the blue eyes, chubby legs and dimples. Hence why I always wanted to immediately throat punch all of those who gave us the token comment of “why don’t you just adopt.”

When I was  trying to wrap my head around the reality of never actually being able to carry a pregnancy, I stumbled across this quote:

 

 

Which brings me to this impromptu post. Last night I was sucked in to the evil black hole that is Facebook and read a post that touched me so deeply and for so many reasons. It was from a woman whose strength inspires me and whom I have known (electronically) for quite some time. She was in one of my first online infertility/adoption support groups I joined years ago. Before this whole blogging thing came about. She cried, I cried, we have both cried over each other’s failures and celebrated the joys of kicking Mother Nature in the lady-schnuts together as well.

After battling with years of infertility my friend became a mother of a two ridiculously adorable kids (a boy and girl toddler sibling pair) through the beautiful option of foster to adopt. The sheer love that radiates from this family is something that it is hard to put into words. The pictures rival any Disney movie or Hallmark card, it is pure JOY in its rawest form. Now that this couple has dipped their toes into the foster care system, they have opened up their hearts and home to foster more. I love following her story because she is beautiful, honest and real.

There is another part of infertility that always lingers. It’s a haunting ghost in your house that never really leaves. My heart ached for her I as read this post last night and got a chance to get a glimpse of the sacrifice and unconditional love someone must have to foster:

 

“These cribs were assembled last night for little boys who will now not join our home. What people often miss about foster care is that these kids are wanted. We do not foster out of pity or altruism or a sense of righting the world’s wrongs. We foster because we love these kids and we want to embrace and grow and flourish with them.

And so, tonight, I grieve. I grieve for these two baby boys who are still looking for a forever home. I grieve for our family who is missing the sons we thought we were getting. I grieve for myself and my broken mama heart.

Love grows in the most unlikely of places. Over the past 4 days, I fell in love with baby boys whose face I never saw and whose names I only read on paper.

And so, tonight, I grieve.

#thisisfostercare #fosterlove #fostertoadopt #fosterparent #adoptuskids

 

I thought about her words and I thought about all of the transcendental emotions that have flowed through her in her journey. I think I can learn something from my friend, the foster parent on how her and her husband  live, love and foster. I also think this was put in front of me for many reasons, as we try to decide what our next steps shall be in building our family further, I got a glimpse yesterday into the intent and love that comes with being a foster parent. Her words ring in my mind,

“we foster because we love these kids and we want to embrace and grow and flourish with them.”

That right there, is what we all want as parents or those aspiring to be parents. It is not biology, altruism, or the experience of pregnancy, but to love, grow and flourish a child…

Hey you, yes you, the one that just stumbled across our blog… We’ve been there and would love to connect. Email us anytime or stop by our Facebook page for a little #IF encouragement.