We can not always understand why things happen they way the do, nor have answers to the ever pressing voice in your head that screams out “WHY US!?” I was on Facebook at the beginning of the year and saw a post from a friend I had known since highschool, stating that they would be talking about their daughter whom they had lost many months prior at their church. Seeing as we were in the market for a church we went. Not knowing what to expect, and desperate for more support then what anyone or anything could offer we sat and listened to a testimonial of how a couple can prevail through the darkest of times faith, love and courage.
Since then we have come to know Nick and Rachel and are inspired, amazed, and frankly, at awe with how they have become stronger amidst losing their beautiful daughter Sophia. We are encouraged in our own journey to have the faith and courage that Nick and Rachel have. I will now pass this on to them and allow you to hear how Sophia has changed their lives.
Nick and Rachel:
While being a privilege to “guest blog” for such phenomenal people, I have to admit that my first reaction was …How? How can one convey not the loss of a child, but the essence of that sweet love that is only known between parent and child? For however short. However long. How do you capture that in a few words- in a “guest blog.”
The other reaction is necessity. How can we not?
Sophia impacted us in ways that cannot be explained. More so for how many more people watched us as a family fight our battle as she was born and lived in the NICU for her blessed 6 weeks here with us. Her whole story, our whole journey, is one that cannot be captured here. But there our things we must share.
For those suffering a loss or challenge, I ask you, like we did, to hold onto everything that is good. Every moment that is breathtaking. Capture moments and memories in your heart and cherish them. Not to be followed by heartache, but instead a rejoicing of the precious moments you had.
In our battle, we chose not to consider the potential circumstances, but the immediate love that embraced every moment. We chose an attitude of strength and faith. And with that foundation, we were able to focus on the little things that are immeasurable. With so many doctors saying that we shouldn’t pursue even the pregnancy. That she wouldn’t make it. We did anyway. And how sweet it is that we had her. Knew her. Loved her. Held her.
How do you measure the moment when she first opened her eyes? The smell of her baby hair? Rubbing the peach fuzz on her arms? And the moments where she would respond to our touch and be able to squeeze our fingers only in response to our voices and no one else?
That is a love I’ll never forget. Priceless and Blessed.
And in no way can we share our story. Or love. Or faith, without first giving the honor and glory to God. It is with his guiding hand that we found a peace unexplainable. A strength and courage that comes only from Him. And ultimately, through the challenges, an appreciation for the little things. Through our challenge, we learned of His true grace. And through it all, we learned that we must come to appreciate God’s challenges if we are to fully embrace His blessings. When our hearts took this approach, we learned more about love, gratitude, and grace than one could ever imagine. And in her loss, we found victory. In knowing our daughter at all. Drawing closer as husband and wife. And drawing closer to God knowing that He is there through it all and the Sophia is now with Him.
He was and is our foundation. And we as a couple overcome the seemingly insurmountable with Him. If that is not for the casual non-believer, then allow me to encourage His presence in your life. If still not, then I encourage that you always cherish what you had and hold onto it at heart. Claim victory and choose to help those who are weaker than yourselves.
Whether you’ve overcome your loss or not, allow us to say that you are stronger than you realize. And that one another’s goal now should be to help others overcome their challenges. If we don’t learn to do that, then our loss becomes a complete one. But if we choose opposite, then we create our children’s legacy through our strength and understanding.
And they live on forever.
