We are starting a new thing here. Over the years we have tried just about anything to conceive. Trust me if you want something bad enough you will do just about anything to make your dreams into reality. Ever done a hand stand right after having sex hoping that gravity will be your friend giving the fertilization process a bit of a leg up? Literally. We have, and about a zillion other really comical, unwieldy, totally superstitious activities hoping to increase our changes by the slimmest amount. Even if it is .002% increase. Been there, done it, will write a book about it someday soon. Periodically, you will begin to see a random C & C review of either a fertility boosting product or a fertility boosting activity. No, don’t worry, we won’t include any graphic tutorials on how to perform position #138 in the Kama Sutra, “The Twisted Canyon,” we still have family and friends that read this and don’t want any awkward holiday moments. AH, let me rephrase, we don’t want to increase the awkward holiday moments. (Uhmm, that isn’t a real Kama Sutra position, sounds like it though huh.)
So, for our debut review, let’s talk about Soft Cups. We have tried this … it is different … as in it is a freakin’ bedroom circus trying to make this happen. For those that don’t know, the Soft Cup is a female menstrual cup (Chris: GROSS!) (Candace: Chris thought it was designed to be a female prophylactic, silly boy BAHHH HAHAHAHAH). Anyway, you jam this thing up your hoo-ha when you are menstruating and it collects all the remnants your dirty Aunt Flo leaves behind. Then, 12 HOURS LATER, you remove the Soft Cup and grace the bathroom with everything your period has had to offer for half a day. As with most things though, we used it for our covert infertility fighting missions as a swimmer plug. There are actual studies out there that have shown this to work. And there are some success stories to support this as well. Without batting an eye, we jumped on the IF Fad. The idea is fairly straightforward, you do your business, slap in the soft cup, prevent the advancing army of sperm from getting cold feet. Think of salmon swimming upstream, this is the Hoover Dam to help the salmon stay on course. We came up with a few lessons and observations based on our own experiences with these gems of modern technology:
1 1. Nothing says romantic like doing your deed and shoving a foreign object in your lady bits right afterwards.
2 2. Don’t forget this is a fight against gravity and contracting muscles. So, plan to move fast, position yourself right, and laugh at how crazy you are being to try this.
3 3. It gets stuck. Think about that.
4 4. After thinking about this, imagine how hard it is to convince yourself to plunge back in trying to get this thing out … that is now covered with man-essence. Gross. Seriously, I just did the ibby-jibbie dance.
5. “Hey babe, that was great. Want a cigarette?” “Naw hunny, I think I could go for a Soft Cup though.”
6 6. Want to scar your husband for life, have him watch the instructional videos. (Candace: I did and now Chris doesn’t complain about doing chores, fart, or leave his stuff all over the house. The threat of showing him that video again has straightened him out for life.)
1 7. People really use these for periods? I mean, to each their own, but what happens if you accidentally drop it upon removal? Over the intercom-Clean up in stall 3!
8. Put a cork in it, it’s done!
Seriously though folks, this has been shown to work in some cases. For us, maybe we didn’t do it right. Maybe we didn’t give it a fair shake. Maybe our plumbing was too busted for a Soft Cup to be the miracle baby maker. We can say that it made us laugh a lot and ultimately, made our misadventures with fertility boosting aids that much more of a positive experience on our way to our family. Happy Soft Cup adventures to all!
Last thing I promise. Let’s talk about how ridiculous this picture is. Apart from the fact a stuffed plush cartoon-like uterus is hugging a box of Soft Cups all while twirling it on its right ovary. What is the marketing message here? “Uterus’s LOVE Soft Cups” or how about “Has your Uterus Hugged a Soft Cup Today?” I have no clue but it made me laugh so for the time being, this will now be me my computer wallpaper/background until I find something equally comical.
Last thing I promise. Let’s talk about how ridiculous this picture is. Apart from the fact a stuffed plush cartoon-like uterus is hugging a box of Soft Cups all while twirling it on its right ovary. What is the marketing message here? “Uterus’s LOVE Soft Cups” or how about “Has your Uterus Hugged a Soft Cup Today?” I have no clue but it made me laugh so for the time being, this will now be me my computer wallpaper/background until I find something equally comical.
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SoftCups are the best invention. Maybe not for conception but for period relief. They feel like nothing, don’t spill for real. You don’t drop these things, they are too bulky. You can have sex while on your period and don’t have to worry. No risk of toxic shock syndrome if you leave it in too long. Once you get over your squeamish ways, which honestly should be non existent if you are TTC ( hello CM!) They are the best things since sliced bread!
Trish , you are absolutely right. I did not feel it at all. They were more comfortable then any cotton plug I have come across. Really I think we were completely inept of using it properly. Then again the main purpose is for dear Auntie and not TTC.
I’ve used soft cups before and they aren’t that bad unless the cramping from the period is really bad because I swear that forces the cup out of alignment.
I was born with a rare uterine abnormality where I only have half a uterus called unicornuate uterus. As a fun graduation gift to our RE after 3 years of care and multiple set backs we actually gave the plush uterus to our doctor. It was his first uterine gift and it resides in his office. It’s sold on the I heart guts site along with many other organs. Highly recommend!
I love soft cups, but it is SOOO gross digging them back out. So I don’t use them anymore. Maybe I should try again? Eeew I don’t think I can.
I tried using the softcups, but they would never stay in (it’s supposed to sit behind your pubic bone). I would get it positioned, and it would pop right out! I am just over 5 feet tall, so I wonder if I was just too small for them or something (not that I think that my downstairs is small, but I can’t think of another reason). I started using Mooncup about 3 or 4 years ago and I haven’t looked back. You can get 2 sizes, one for before childbirth and one for after, and I think perhaps Instead should do this also. Anyway, I am much happier with the Mooncup knowing that I don’t have to buy anything for a long time.