4 Tips on How to Cope With Anxiety

Chris: Anxiously waiting. I think all of us that are faced with infertility can relate to that. Whether it is the dreaded 2 week wait, or the completion of a pregnancy with complications, or waiting to hear that you were the chosen couple to adopt a child, these are anxious times. For those of us that deal with anxiety and panic attacks though, this kind of long drawn out waiting and worry isn’t quite the right fit. Anxiety and panic attacks, (Alright I am only a few sentences into this and am already tired of typing ‘anxiety and panic attacks.’ I am just going to call them panic attacks) Back on topic, panic attacks seem to be like some kind of incredibly skittish, insane and chupacabra. Oh sure, you haven’t seen this demon cat in 3 weeks, but you know it is there, and it is waiting until you least expect it to jump out! Nope, anxiously waiting during the two week wait doesn’t seem to resemble that. A better example is the good ol’ Jack in the Box. You crank the arm on the side of the box, you know what is going to happen, but in the moments before the sadistic clown jumps out, you are nervous. And when it does come out, what happens? You jump! You knew what was going to happen, you have gone through this before, but in that moment, everything escapes your mind. Last time I talked about panic attacks, I explained what mine are like. Now I want to tell you what I do about them.

1. Own it!

I think the most important thing you can do is admit to yourself two things. First, that you have experienced panic/anxiety. Second, that you are not crazy for how you are feeling. Seems easy enough, but actually it is really tough. Why am I afraid to drive across this bridge when thousands of people do it every day and I have done it hundreds of times? I must be crazy. Here is the thing though, a panic attack is a physiological/emotional response to some trigger. So no, the things you are feeling do not mean you are going crazy. If anything, it means that your body is working quite well. It is fight or flight and your body has chosen flight. By accepting that you have panic attacks, you will be so much more empowered to overcome them. Which leads me to …

 

2. Acknowledge them.

When you are having a panic attack, try to attain an almost 3^rd person perspective. Let’s say you are just starting to have a panic attack and you can start to feel your hands and feet feel different, almost tingly. Acknowledge it. “Oh, my appendages are starting to feel different. This is a symptom of a panic attack.” Do the same for when you start to feel your breathing and heart rate increase. Start feeling your chest tighten. Do you best to rise above the tide of out-of-control emotions to recognize the fact that this is a physiological response. Once you have adopted this mindset, which is not easy to do in some instances, see if your observations tell you anything. Has your heart rate slowed down? Chest less tight? The sooner you intercept this cascade of reactions, the easier it will be to re-center yourself.

 

3. Be proactive.

When is the best time to adopt strategies to quickly diffuse panic attacks? When you are not having one, duh! If you are comfortable, and able, go to a counselor/therapist. These feelings have an origin. If you can dig into your past to find them, you will be better equipped to deal with them. Look for ways that you can relax and slow your mind. I have found meditation to be an incredible tool and it is one that you can bring with you wherever you are. Unlike what I thought, meditation isn’t just trying to empty your mind of everything and mentally float in an abyss. Meditation is a very active exercise. In meditation, the goal is to focus your thoughts. You do this through breathing techniques and finding something to focus on. Some people focus on their breath. Others focus on a mantra, a small statement that can be mentally repeated. I found this to be effective for me. My mantra is, “Breathing in, I breathe in calming from the Lord. Breathing out, I breathe out worry and fear.” More on religion in a minute. If invasive thoughts come into your mind, let them come. Fighting against them is a distracting thought as well. Let them come, then let them move past you, like a cloud on a windy day. BTW, meditation is a great thing to use to stop your spiraling thoughts in the middle of a panic attack.

 

4. Harness religion.

Normally, we refrain from being very outward with our religious beliefs but this has been such a huge part of my battle to overcome anxiety that I would be doing a disservice not to mention it. I am a Christian and therefore, I believe that God is always with me. And, as a result of Him being omnipotent, He will make sure that I remain safe on a flight or stuck on a bridge or in an elevator that is for sure moving suspiciously slow. There is a verse that I have found to be very helpful, “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.“ Deuteronomy 31:8. I also pray, especially while flying for strength, peace, and safety. If you are not Christian, but your religious beliefs involve a higher being(s), you should be able to call on them as readily for your safety and comfort. If you don’t have a religion, I could help with that too.

Okay, this post is getting long. So, I will sum this up briefly. Own your panic! Don’t be ashamed! Recognize your symptoms. Do something about it both before and during an attack. Don’t let anxiety and panic prevent you from enjoying your life to the fullest!