Candace:
Yep, I got another hole punch in my hospital card. Effing uterus. Let’s do a refresher: I went to my oncologist, had an enjoyable biopsy (this is ripe with sarcasm) and my sneaky, evil uterus decided to plot against the doctor. Since he was unable to get a sample in-office, off to get a D&C I go! Before Chris goes into results and surgeries and all boring-ish things of that nature I will share with you the single most embarrassing moment of my stirrup-throne career.
Let’s start out with the unknown fact (until now) OBGYN oncology protocol is VERY different from RE fertility patient protocol. Allow me to esplain Lucy. Let’s rewind back in time to my last in-house biopsy. I knew it was going to suck. I had happen to have in my pocession a rainy day Tylenol with codeine from my last surgery, and that right there was my solution. I was downright a chatty Kathy going into the exam room but as a result of that pain pill I took (which did not help), I was a few fries short of a happy meal that day.
The ultrasound technician said ok we are going to an ultra-sound, pull your pants down by your hips and we will get started. Point of clarification: Ultra Sound =Mr. Ultra Sound wand in the fertility patient world. I thought to myself, well that’s weird how is she doing to get Mr. Ultra Sound wand and South Beach connected? Her problem not mine I guess, and proceeded to drop trouser undies and all down to my hip line. This is where shit got weird. She looked at me with a furrowed brow, grabbed a tiny wash cloth from the exam table and tossed it over my exposed bikini biscuit and proceeded to do a abdominal ultra sound. AH. Abdominal ultra sounds. Not Mr. Ultrasound wand. #Fertilitypatientproblems I am pretty sure as soon as I left the office after my biopsy shortly afterwards, she told her nurse friends “Ladies you will not believe this, this dumb girl totally flashed me her beev and would not stop talking.” Awkward for her, more awkward for me when the lights kicked on again upstairs and I realized what had happened.
So Mrs. Ultra-sound lady if you are reading this I am very sorry. I was loopy, and obviously could not understand directions and flashed you my ladybits. I did shave though so that has to account for something?
Chris:
So, before I get into what the Dr. said in the hospital after Candace’s D&C, I want to have a small side story for the fellas. Guys, it turns out that we have the innate ability to get ourselves in trouble regardless of the situation. Even if your wife is under general anesthetic, you can still get in trouble. Case in point, Candace told me verbatim to record what the doctor says after her D&C so that she could hear what he had to say. Alright, that’s all good and well but … when your wife’s OBGYN oncologist comes out to the outpatient surgery waiting room and says, “Hey, can we go into one of these private consultation rooms to talk,” my brain went blank. No jokes about how easy that is blog-osphere folks, it just got totally wiped clean. My first thought was that he would say something like, “Well Chris, it turns out that the problem was a lot more involved than we thought and we had to surgically remove all of her fingers and toes and ear lobes.” I’m just saying, the secretive somber way in which her doctor delivered this request was very foreboding. Needless to say, I forgot to record our conversation and landed myself in the post-surgical dog house.
Luckily, when we got into the secluded room, the tone was a bit different. They did a D&C-type procedure on Candace while she was under general anesthetic so they could be much more probative than they could be in the office. The Dr. said that they found a lot of resistance in navigating the uterus which was likely the result of scar tissue. He actually thinks that Candace has had so many procedures and operations and general uterine invasions by the outside world that her body responded by forming scar tissues that have now, worked to fuse her uterus together in places. Bad news for us with regards to having Candace conceive. But, since we have our surrogate lined up and, let’s be honest, after trying to get Candace knocked up for so long, we have made great strides in accepting that Candace will not carry our child. Although we have to wait on the pathology report for the tissue samples that her Dr. collected, he did say that he was not able to collect too much tissue. This is good because patients that have exhibited complex hyperplasia with atypia will typically have a large buildup of tissue in their uterus resulting in collection of a lot of tissues during a D&C. So, that being said, it looks like Candace’s hyperplasia may have resolved itself. Sounds like good news right?
Why the title “Cuts Both Ways?” Here is our dilemma: although we are waiting on the patho report, we were basically just told that Candace uterus is not functional. With her having the history of precancerous cells, it could be to our benefit to have them remove it. Yep, the scary “H” word again, hysterectomy. But, what all will they need to take? How will this affect Candace? What if we don’t go through with the hysterectomy, what are the risks? How is recovery from a hysterectomy? We know that they will plan to us a Da Vinci machine but what will the scars look like? These are all questions that we will have to wait for answers on until we go back in to review the patho report. Until then, we are going to continue playing the waiting game with our surrogate, think positively about the transfer, and simply put our next foot in front of our last. Sound like a familiar theme: wait, hope, exist. That is the battle cry of all of us in the land of IF!
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Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I’m wishing you both the best!!! Sending lots of baby dust your way!!!