I remember feeling a sense of shock when I first meet her. I was standing in a massive room filled with infertile men and women, a few professionals and many people who have resolved their infertility and have decided to come back into the fray and fight the good fight along with us. This was Advocacy Day 2014.
Stick with me, I promise this post is about surrogacy and not a cheap plug to join me in DC this year, that my electronic frannds is another post. The crazy thing I realize now retrospectively, is that you never know how a one single email could change your life’s course.
This tall woman who literally looked like she had stepped straight out of a J Crew catalog, confidently walked up to where I was standing with a few other women I was there in DC with from my local support group. She told me that she had received an email I had sent out to all of our support group members about Advocacy Day, and although she had not been able to make a support group meeting she had felt empowered to come to DC.
This was the beginning of a very respected and admired friendship.
We’ll call her Kanga from here on out. Why Kanga? Well, because Kangaroos are probably the coolest marsupial ever, and carry their babies enduringly in their pouch. In a surrogacy, a fearless, compassionate woman allows a couple to borrow her pouch for the next 9 months all while nurturing that joey as if that precious package was her own. Kanga is also one of my favorite characters from Winne the Pooh. And let’s be real, only commies and people who hate awesome things do not like Winnie the Pooh. Want to learn more about Kanga? I can’t make this up folks, there’s actually a site called Pooh.Wikia.com In the character description of Kanga, she is often described as insightful, beautiful and nurturing. Sounds like a pretty spot on description of our future GS to me.
Wait, why was your future GS at an infertility advocacy event and more so, why is she in an infertility support group? I’ll leave that story for her to tell, because she is a pretty amazing writer and if I ask, beg and bribe maybe we’ll get her to tell it. (If your reading this Kanga…whatyasay?) Until then, the cliff notes version is that her broken parts are much different from my broken parts. So quick math her + me = functional pregnancy.
Who would better know the sharp cutting pain, the struggle of infertility woes than someone who has experienced it herself firsthand. I hear about this more often these days. People who have experienced infertility stepping forward to help those not able to conceive or in my case, will not ever be able to experience pregnancy. There are so many reasons that attribute to infertility it is not just a one size fits all diagnosis.
She called me one day. She said these words that I will forever remember. “Another woman helped me complete my family, I want to do the same for someone else. I feel like my story is yet unfinished.” With that, we begin our journey. There have been lots of appointments and pre-testing. We have a few more steps to take before the green light is officially flipped.
I have discovered nothing is really “normal” in this crazy life we live, especially as it relates to our family building pursuits. I am ok with that. It is that not so normal way that we first met our first wonder-surro and I that become a mother to Jellybean from a simple Facebook post. I may have the opportunity to build my family because of that one email. Life is so unexpected, but it is those unexpected parts that change your life forever.
With that, our lives and dance cards will start to be filled will hope, appointments, pointy needles and a few awkward laughs. Mainly though, it is over filled with admiration and gratitude to be able to take part of the journey to Baby 2. Let the Kanga Kapers begin!
For those who want to keep tabs on our surrogacy journey, and of course for hash-tagy purposes, this shall now be known as the #KangaKapers
For some InstaUpdates check out @ourmisconception on Instagram.